


(Don't) fight (me)

by mymusicalbox



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eiji has a breakdown, Fights, Fluff, M/M, Not Betaed, and a few changes, i love brackets too much, i should be studying for finals but I wrote this in an hour and a half, i'm not a native sorrymasen, the fight from episode 12 but from Eiji's perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16990770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymusicalbox/pseuds/mymusicalbox
Summary: Eiji found himself not caring about how their fights could be, as long as they could face them together. As long as they were together, everything would be okay.





	(Don't) fight (me)

The first time they fought, Eiji _cried_.

 

* * *

 

It was pretty late at night that day, and Ash still hadn’t come home. Eiji was worried sick, if he had to admit it, because that’s how he was, he had been worried for Ash’s wellbeing, he was worried for it and would continue to worry for it forever. Eiji didn’t want to think about what Ash was doing so he chose to trust that he would be alright. He had chosen to trust the American in the first place and he had told him crystal clear that even if the whole world turned on him, he’d stay by his side.

 

But what if there came a day in which they couldn’t be together anymore?

 

Eiji dropped his book on the bed and brought his hands to his hair, angrily scratching as if that action could make him snap out of it, until he heard the sound of the door opening.

 

Ash had come home.

 

“You’re still up?” He asked as he entered the room, slowly removing his jacket.

 

 _Of course I am,_ Eiji thought, _do you really think I could fall asleep without knowing what is happening to you?_

Eiji had a lot he wanted to say to Ash. A lot of questions he wanted to ask him. But that could wait for later. At that moment, the first thing he had to do was welcoming him home.

 

“You’re back” He said. It sounded like a sigh, like a prayer, like he couldn’t really believe himself when he was staring at Ash. They were so close yet Eiji felt Ash could vanish any moment; Eiji could find himself stretching out his hands to reach out for Ash, like a kid wanting to touch a cloud. But he couldn’t reach anything, because Ash was far away.

 

Eiji was beginning to feel scared, angry, and sad. Genuinely sad.

 

“You’re out late these days” Eiji continued. He tried to sound as calm as he could, the last thing on his list of priorities was starting a fight with Ash.

 

 _You’re wrong,_ something inside of Eiji whispered to him; _the last thing you would ever want in this world is to lose him. To be apart from him. That’s why you’re scared._

Eiji felt himself at the verge of tears, but needed to stay calm, cool and collected. He didn’t want Ash seeing him lose his composure. He was pretty sure that that wouldn’t help Ash in keeping himself together.

 

“Got stuff to do” Ash replied, which snapped Eiji out of his daze. (Eiji was helpful for that).

 

“I’m beat.” The blond continued.

 

And that’s when Eiji noticed it; the blood on Ash’s shirt.

 

So that’s what was happening. Maybe he was settling scores with Arthur’s followers? So maybe the thing about the gang violence appearing on the news was… because of Ash?

 

The Japanese inhaled sharply, praying for Ash to not having noticed. But he probably had noticed anyway; Ash notices everything.

 

“There’s blood on your shirt.” Eiji stated. Because he had to say it. He wanted to get to the bottom of what was happening.

 

“What are you trying to say?” Ash breathed as he gripped his blood-stained t-shirt; red stains covering a pure white surface.

 

That’s how probably Ash  must feel about himself… Anything but something stained of blood of many, many people.

 

Eiji gulped.  This wasn’t going to end well, but he felt the urge to keep the conversation going.

 

“Did you do this?” Eiji asked, trying to make Ash confess if what the news said was true. “It says that the victims had thrown their weapons away but were still shot. Shot precisely between the eyes.” Eiji finished.

 

Then, he took a deep breath and looked away from Ash. He somehow couldn’t look at him for the time being.

 

“I don’t want to believe it, but only you could do such a thing.” He said. He knew Ash. He knew how he handled his gun with expertise, and he was starting to know what was going on.

 

“So what?” Ash asked, voice barely above a whisper, his tone laced with indifference for what Eiji was implying.

 

“So what?” Eiji threw at him the same question, raising his voice.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Eiji asked, punching the bed. Now there he had it. He couldn’t keep his sadness, his anger and his indignation inside him anymore. He was starting to feel anxious, even.

 

“You’re not the kind of guy who’d shoot an unresisting person.” But he continued. He continued talking. Because he wanted to know what Ash had to say. Because maybe, Ash had his reasons to act like that and he desperately wanted to believe in him. He wanted oh so badly to believe. He needed to believe if he were to carry on.

 

Then he stood up and faced Ash again, who was sitting on his bed.

 

“Who do you think I am?” Ash asked in all his seriousness.

 

_The most important person in the world for me. My everything. A wounded heart in a cruel world._

_That’s what you are._ Eiji thought.

 

“I told you, I’m a murderer.” Ash stated, matter of factly. He was always torturing himself by putting ugly tags on his name when he didn’t kill because he wanted to. He killed because he… had to. But why had he killed someone who was pleading for their life?

 

Eiji was left agape as Ash’s explanation went on.

 

“They shot my friends to save themselves. They’re paying for what they did.” Ash claimed. His voice sounded like he was angry, too.

 

“Sure, the strong can say that.” Eiji murmured. Oh, no. It was starting to become cleared that he was angry with that situation as a whole. “But not everyone is gifted with a talent like you.” He felt this had been a poisonous dagger. And he felt awful.

 

But he had to say it. He believed his bond with Ash could handle this, it had to handle this.

 

But what if it didn’t?

 

“A talent? For what, killing?” Ash asked sarcastically along with a sad laughter.

 

_That’s wrong._

Eiji felt his blood boiling.

 

“Why do you keep saying that?” He yelled. That was the breaking point. He hated Ash being like that with himself. But most of all, he felt Ash was being unfair. He didn’t think about how ungifted people felt. He didn’t think about how _he_ felt. “You don’t get how ungifted people feel!”

 

At that, he felt Ash clench the shits under his fist.

 

“I’ve had it with you!” Ash yelled as he angrily stood up. “You wanna let them run free so they can kill us?” He asked. He was at the verge of tears and Eiji couldn’t believe what was happening. He had screwed up.

 

“It’s not about reasoning. Power is everything. That’s the world I live in. What would you know about it!” Ash desperately screamed.

 

Shit, Eiji had indeed screwed up.

 

“I don’t.” Eiji whispered. “I’d probably be dead in your world by now. But I have to say it. You’re not being yourself right now. Not the Ash that Skip, Shorter and I know.”

 

At that, Ash’s eyes widened and then he turned his back, grabbed his jacket and took a few rushed steps towards the door.

 

_No. Please, anything but that._

“Where are you going?” Eiji’s voice was desperate.

 

“You said I don’t know how ungifted people feel.” Ash said from where he was standing. “Then do you understand how I feel?” Ash asked.

 

Eiji gasped. He knew that he had screwed up and he desperately needed to fix it.

 

“I’ve never wanted this gift in my entire life!” Ash screamed.

 

And everything in the next seconds happened in a rush. Ash gripped the doorknob, trying to leave, but Eiji throwed himself at the blonde screaming, pleading for him to stay, hugging him and pushing him towards Eiji’s chest.

 

“Ash, please, please stay. Don’t leave me. I’m so sorry.”

 

“I’m so sorry.” Eiji said, over and over again.

 

He was crying, dampening Ash’s t-shirt and his own. And he was trembling, too.

 

“I know I probably d-don’t understand how you feel. But I want to know. I want to know because I care deeply for you and I-I’m scared you might vanish someday, you might disappear and never come back… please, please stay…” He rambled on, he’d do anything for Ash to stay. He’d understand if Ash was angry and didn’t want to talk to him. He’d understand if Ash just… left.

 

But Ash didn’t leave. He gripped Eiji’s arms instead and breathed deeply, calming himself too, since he was also trembling.

 

Then, he didn’t say anything, he just turned to face Eiji; and the Japanese buried himself in Ash.

 

 _I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ve never wanted to hurt you and I vowed I never would. Please don’t leave, please stay with me._ He wanted to say; but all that left his throat were ugly sobs.

 

Ash returned the hug and cried, too. They stayed like this for a few minutes until they separated and went to sleep.

 

The next morning, Eiji woke up alone.

 

* * *

 

 

The second time they fought, Eiji _laughed_.

 

* * *

 

 

It was another of those times in which he had to invent 850384508430 strategies to wake Ash up, as almost every day. But it had been a few days since they had a bad fight and he wanted to mend it, so he had cooked all of Ash’s favorite dishes and put them in the table for him to eat.

 

He had ended cooking already, so he thought it was about time to wake sleeping beauty up. Ash was rolled up in a blanket, half naked, as he always slept (Eiji tried to ignore this because Ash was so beautiful and his body was gorgeous but he didn’t want to think about it because what if Ash didn’t feel same way-)

 

A sleepy grunt snapped Eiji out of his daze. Ash did strange noises when he was sleeping, it wasn’t the first time. Eiji chuckled.

 

“Ash, it’s time to wake up.” He gently said, nuzzling his hand to Ash’s cheek. He had been doing this for a few days and he found out that Ash didn’t mind, so he kept doing it. With physical contact, it was all about consent and about little, shared touches that Eiji was more than content to give and receive. Those times, he felt that Ash was actually there and that if he stretched out his hand, he could touch him.

 

And Ash felt so _warm_.

 

And so did Eiji’s cheeks when he thought about that. Okay so maybe he was in love with Ash and he cared deeply for him, so what?

 

“Ash.” He said again, petting his hair this time.

 

At that, Eiji heard a small noise, akin to a purr.

 

Okay so maybe he was helping Ash have the pleasantest dream of his life, and that’s not what he wanted to do.

 

So he dressed himself up, grabbed the keys and went to the supermarket downstairs to buy a megaphone, and a packet of batteries.

 

There, he encountered Mrs. Owen and Mrs. Coleman.

 

“Oh, hello, Ei-chan.” Mrs. Owen said

 

“What are you buying that for, if I may know?” Mrs. Coleman asked

 

“It’s obvious!” Mrs. Owen said even before Eiji could articulate a response. It’s to wake his …

 

That pause felt suspicious

 

“My _friend_ Eiji said”.

 

“Oh right, your friend.” Mrs Owen said, throwing a look of mutual understanding to Mrs. Coleman

 

“So it’s to wake him up?” Mrs. Coleman said.

 

“Hmm yes. He’s such a sleepy head so I want him to wake up already, I’ve been cooking the whole morning to make his favorite dishes so the least he could do is wake up and eat them.” Eiji said with pride. He knew he was a good cooker, and Ash had told him a few times, too, that he’d make a good house-wife.

 

Then he remembered the charm for love his sister had given him, blushed to the tip of his ears and quickly left for the queue.

 

Was it that obvious that he liked Ash?

 

When he got up, Ash was still sleeping, so he put the batteries in the megaphone and started screaming.

 

After a few minutes of “wake up” “wake your lazy ass up” Eiji figured he had to go all out. So he put his knees on the floor, Put the megaphone on Ash’s ear and blasted a Halloween song on his mobile phone.

 

Ash’s response was immediate. He heard him screaming and saw him fall on his ass on the floor.

 

Ash spent an hour bickering with Eiji for that, but Eiji genuinely laughed and felt the happiest he had in _days._

* * *

 

The third time they fought, Eiji _smiled_

* * *

 

They were in Japan, in Eiji’s room, and they had bickered over something he couldn’t remember anymore, because now they were in each other’s arms, sharing cuddles and touches and kisses and being _together._

Ash didn’t feel like he was a million miles apart anymore. They were close again and Eiji felt himself wishing all the fights they had to have to be like that.

 

He knew they’d have to fight someday, but he knows that they’ll be together against all odds, because Ash’s the most compassionate person he’d ever met.

 

They had only had one big fight, the rest where nonsense about food, about Ash not waking up, about Eiji being a bad kisser (Eiji didn’t like that one though. Okay, he did like this one because that day they spent the whole day kissing and they ended up heavily making out in Eiji’s room so who was a bad kisser now huh).

Eiji found himself not caring about how their fights could be, as long as they could face them together. As long as they were together, everything would be okay.

 

But he was not a bad kisser.

 

And Ash’d better fight him if he said so again.

 

(Eiji would be glad).

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm back! how about a little bit more pain -the beginning of the fic- after episode 23? :D
> 
> I tried to make the ending fluffy I swear. This idea had been in my mind for weeks but couldn't write it because I'm currently studying ("studying") for finals. But I had a little bit of free-time now and wanted to write it.
> 
> I'm so excited for the fluff week btw, can't wait to hear more about the project!
> 
> As always, please tell me what you think about this. Comments and kudos are much appreciated <3
> 
> I'm weakeninghope on tumblr, hit me up if you want to chat!
> 
> See you soon ~ <3


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